K, I know it’s only Rosh Chodesh Elul

But I’m already a bit anxious about Yom Kippur. Both excited (our Rabbinic Intern at my school‘s Hillel asked me to sing Kol Nidre) and sad… as it is unlikely I will be permitted/ able to fast, as my eating disorder really threw me for a loop/ spiraled out of control last year, culminating in hospital and residential treatment at Renfrew‘s Spring Lane Site…

I know I’ll get the whole „you’re meant to live by the commandments, not die by them!!!“ thing from her… but I still will feel really isolated and awful about that.