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Judaism is a religion so I could totally become Jewish and by extension Israeli right?

No.

op what does this even mean

Brexit is going to destroy the UK, so I was wondering if I could convert and get a head start in Israel with a house etc. So I’m wondering if you can just do that

I. What.

Judaism is an ethnoreligion, so converts are jewish. No problem there. But not all jews are israeli citizens, and not all israeli citizens are jews. There’s also an ethnic group of israeli people, which is of course separate from judaism as well.

So no, converting to the religion judaism will not magically net you an israeli citizenship. You’ll have to actually apply legally if you want an israeli citizenship, and tbh you can also do that without being jewish

But like i’ll be allowed to apply and be in if I do like. Like to move to Australia you have to have like money but if you have enough you’re alright so long as you jump through certain hoops, what I’m saying is converting is being Jewish enough like my parents don’t have to be etc

that’s not…..that’s not how any of this works, that’s not how aliyah works, that’s not how the olim process works. 

lmao like what you’re talking about is at BEST a two-year process while still in the UK to even potentially qualify for aliyah and citizenship which….doesn’t net you a house OR land. 

That’s disappointing. I mean that window is fine I’ve gotta finish my degree but like, if I’m gonna invest that sort of time …

yes lmfao it’s going to take a year MINIMUM to convert, and the citizenship for converts making aliyah looks for a MINIMUM of having been with your converting community for another YEAR. 

hence at minimum this is a two-year process, or you will probably be denied citizenship once in Israel. then there’s the fact that conversion often takes over a year, the fact that conversion courses cost money (and from everyone I’ve spoken with in the UK, the UK conversion courses are NOT cheap), the fact that you will need to spend money for Judaica, and the fact that for 2+ years you will be expected to dedicate a rigorous amount of time, energy, effort, dedication, and studying to Judaism. 

then there’s the other fact, which is that you not only have to convince one Rabbi you’re sincere in your desire to convert to Judaism, you have to convince three of them you are sincere, knowledgable, and prepared to live a Jewish life for the rest of your life. You may go before a beit din, and be told you aren’t ready to finish your conversion yet, or be rejected. Here’s the thing: Rabbi’s aren’t idiots, and will notice if you aren’t at all sincere! 

converting to judaism so you can escape brexit and trounce off to israel is not a quick, easy, or affordable plan of action. 

Wow it’s really not, but like where else is there. I mean if I have to invest like four years to escape basically certain poverty and then it’s over and I’m sweet then maybe it’s worth it. I mean it’s definitely not as easy as I thought it’d be but it still sounds do able. And I could condition myself into it if I knew it would work like. 

The term for people like you who greatly insult converts to Judaism who put in the effort for honest, genuine, and selfless reasons is asshole.

~ Mod Akiva

I am being genuine. My current country is going to shit and I need to get out of here. What’s wrong with that

Because (based on your tone which is all we have to understand the nature of your intent) your treating Judaism like a lifestyle choice like choosing to be vegan. Its something that people who convert spend years studying to become. It’s something that people who are born Jewish grow up learning to understand. We have a rich culture and history (And frankly we spend a lot of time being troubled by a myriad of different forms of antisemitism. My first years in a public school were mostly spent running from kids calling me a dirty jew). We have traditions that are literally over 5000 years old and there are people all over the world who still call for our extermination. So it’s pretty insulting for you to suggest you want to become Jewish because its convenient for you.

It would be like me, a white Jewish girl saying I’m thinking of becoming Muslim because it seems like it would be so much easier. Like I could just move to Canada and wear a hijab and suddenly my life would be better. It shows a lack of respect for another people’s culture and traditions. You can become Jewish, but its not something you should do for convenience. If you believe in any way that it will fulfill you spiritually than do it. Don’t do it as a way to escape your problems because it won’t work. It literally won’t. It will not guarantee you financial security. And I’m truly uncertain from your tone, if you actually believe that being Jewish is going to provide you with financial security but it won’t and that’s why people are suggesting your being antisemitic. Assuming that Judaism provides you with financial security follows all the old stereotypes about all Jews being rich which is a lie. Becoming Jewish guarantees you nothing except that you are a Jew.

And btw Israel has plenty of its own problems, there are bombings and wars, while Israel is considered our ‘promise land’ as the saying goes, it doesn’t automatically mean a better, easier life. And it doesn’t guarantee a Jewish person citizenship. (There is literally a Christian quarter in Jerusalem so yeah being Jewish is not a requirement to live there)

I get that brexit is scary (I live in America our country is run by a nutjob who might get us blown up any day now because he can’t get off twitter) but this is not a solution to your problems. This just means you get to join another minority that people fucking hate and move to a country that half the world wants erased.

Religions aren’t lifestyle choices? I never said that? It’s not just convenient this is where the disconnect is. Britain is going to crash, hard, and we haven’t bounced back from 2008, a lot of people are going to die and politics here is going to become very extreme, it’s like you a white Jewish girl pretending not to be so you can move somewhere safe which is shit thousands of people have had to do, like the Ethiopians Jew who were rescued and brought to Israel. 

Being Jewish on its own isn’t a solution at all, rather it’ll probably make things worse because Britain is racist af and as people get poorer it’s racism gets worse. But being Jewish in Israel at least earlier tonight seemed like some what of a solution. Learning a language and a culture and becoming spiritual in order to be safe.

Israel was made for Jews so it follows that a Jew would have a better quality of life there, and I vaguely know that there’s some established mechanism by which Jews immigrate there hence the whole topic

The thing is they don’t have a better quality of life? Like I’ve been there and you can be walking down a nice city street and turn a corner and see rubble from a bomb that went off. It’s a hard land to live in and most of the Jewish sectors are deserts and mountains. I’m saying being Jewish won’t guarantee you a spot in Israel, it won’t guarantee you comfort, it won’t guarantee you anything beyond being Jewish.

I’m sure there are programs for Jews to immigrate as well as non Jews to immigrate but I have no knowledge of Jews getting any kind of precedence in the matter. And I happen to know a bunch of Israelis and I have some distant family there. I have literally never heard of some special program that gives us special access to citizenship.(There is a program for Jews to visit Israel though it’s called Birthright and that is a thing)

And by the way a white Jewish girl pretending not to be Jewish so they can move somewhere safe, a lot of Jews had to do that back in the day to try and escape Eastern Europe. What I’m saying is if you feel being Jewish can make your life better spiritually? If it will somehow enrich your mind or whatever? Than do it but it’s not going to make you safer. I’m sure brexit will be a shit show. Again I live in America and I am living through a shit show where people are acting like being a nazi is just a political viewpoint you get to have. I’m not saying your fears aren’t warranted I’m saying as a Jewish person I don’t think this is a solution. I don’t have one for you only that this isn’t it.

Yeah I hear that. I honestly don’t know if it’ll help me spiritually because I don’t really know anything about being a jew. I’ll have to learn more first. I’m starting at a flat zero reall all I know about Judaism and Israel is stepping on the glass at weddings and a few Old Testament stories

Tbh this was the kind of conversation I was expecting to have

Don’t call it the Old Testament. That’s a biiiiig no-no. The TaNaKh is our living religious text, particularly the Torah.

Converting is not an easy thing to do, as many Jewish people have said. It costs a lot of time, money, energy and self-reflection to even get to a level where one rabbi goes “yeah we might take you seriously.” I am quizzed every time I go visit my rabbi, and she constantly reminds me that, yes I am also currently in university working toward my degree in education, but that does not mean I can slack on my Jewish learning. I am constantly reminded that my Jewish friends are great resources, but to not base my beliefs on theirs. My rabbi is regularly surprised when I tell her things like “I keep a kosher home and will typically choose a vegetarian option when eating out because it’s easier than eating a meat dish” or that I kept kosher for Passover for the entirety of the holiday. She gets disappointed when I vaguely know a concept of why we do something, but can’t explain in detail. She makes me constantly question myself, has made me go to three different churches just to make sure I was serious about not wanting to live a Christian life anymore, and does not hesitate to remind me that while the Jewish community is a giant family, literally everyone else hates us.

And that’s what you do get when you convert: a giant family and the sense of community every time you set foot into a shul. But in order to get that, you must exchange your secular lifestyle and the comforts that brings. It’s an incredibly heavy decision to weigh and I would recommend talking to both a rabbi and a pastor (or reverend or priest, depending on what sect of Christianity you may have followed) to see what this all means for you. And realize that the rabbi will definitely tell you what everyone on tumblr has been telling you: being Jewish is no guarantee to Israel, it is not inherently a better life situation, it is not safer by any means than Great Britain in this post-Brexit world.

“I was expecting this kind of conversation” the hell he was.

Why tf are goyim like this???